Difference between revisions of "Transcript:Proposition Infinity"
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''[Opening Credits: Dictated But Not Read.]'' | |||
''['''Scene''': [[Amy's apartment]]. [[Kif]] and [[Amy]] are watching [[Channel √2 News]].]'' | |||
<poem>'''[[Linda]]''': '':[on TV]'' We now go live to our eye-in-the-sky hovercopter on the scene of that terrible hovercopter crash. Jim? | |||
</poem><poem>'''[[Jim]]''' '':[on TV]'' '':[Still in the burning hovercopter.]'' The scene is not good, Linda. I've just learned that my last words were: back to you, Linda. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Linda''': '':[on TV]'' '':[She laughs]'' One for the blooper reel. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Kif''': The news is so violent. Let's watch ''Rachael Ray'' instead. No, wait. There might be chopping. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Amy''': God, what a wuss. Stop being such a spineless jellyfish. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Kif''': You know full well that I am more closely related to the {{w|sea cucumber}}. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Amy''': Not where it counts. | |||
</poem><poem>'''[[Morbo]]''': '':[on TV]'' I hated Jim! In other news, [[Proposition Infinity#Goofs|our city]]'s urine-soaked walls have been desicrated by a mysterious tile-work graffiti artist. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Linda''': '':[on TV]'' [[New New York Police Department|Police]] have not idea who is behind this innovative scourge of public art. | |||
:''[On the TV, an example of the graffiti is shown. It looks like Bender]'' | </poem>:''[On the TV, an example of the graffiti is shown. It looks like Bender]'' | ||
:''['''Scene''': New New York street. Bender is lowering himself using cables. | :''['''Scene''': New New York street. Bender is lowering himself using cables. | ||
<poem>'''[[Bender]]''' '':[He chuckles maliciously and spreads grout onto a wall. He then makes a tile version of his head]'' That is one sexy bridge abutment. | |||
:''[Time lapse. Bender is putting tile graffiti in various places. A hoverbus stop, a [[Richard Nixon's head|Richard Nixon]] "Despair" poster (parodying the {{w|Barack Obama "Hope" poster}}) and a [[Tube Transport System|tube transport station]]. At a freeway, Bender graffitis part of a sign so that it now reads "Free Corn" instead of "Freeway Ends At Corner"]'' | </poem>:''[Time lapse. Bender is putting tile graffiti in various places. A hoverbus stop, a [[Richard Nixon's head|Richard Nixon]] "Despair" poster (parodying the {{w|Barack Obama "Hope" poster}}) and a [[Tube Transport System|tube transport station]]. At a freeway, Bender graffitis part of a sign so that it now reads "Free Corn" instead of "Freeway Ends At Corner"]'' | ||
<poem>'''[[Hyper-Chicken]]''': Free corn? That'll suit me just fine. '':[He crashes his [[hovercar]] and crows loudly]'' | |||
</poem>'':[Bender is still putting graffiti on various buildings.]'' | |||
<poem>'''Bender''': The key is knowing precisely where to strike. '':[The last building turns out to be URL's back]'' Oops! | |||
</poem><poem>'''[[URL]]''': Well, well. Time to beat him his rights. '':[He and Smitty take out their lightsabers and being hitting Bender.]'' | |||
</poem><poem>'''[[Smitty]]''': You know, that don't look half bad on your buttocks. | |||
</poem><poem>'''URL''': It does kinda class-up the place.</poem> | |||
:''[Pan over the streets of New New York. A clock nearby changes from 3:59 to 4:00]'' | :''[Pan over the streets of New New York. A clock nearby changes from 3:59 to 4:00]'' | ||
<poem>'''Clock''': The time is 4 am.</poem> | |||
:''['''Scene''': Amy's apartment]'' | :''['''Scene''': Amy's apartment]'' | ||
<poem>'''Amy''': We've been arguing all night, Kif. Can't we go to bed? | |||
</poem><poem>'''Kif''': Is that all you ever think about? I'm not just some piece of tofu, Amy. I need to know where we stand in [[Kif-Amy relationship|our relationship]]. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Amy''': We're just going through a rough patch.</poem> | |||
<poem>'''Kif''': It is not a patch. It's been ages, according to your wildly inappropriate "Hunk of the Month" calender. | |||
</poem>'':[He points to a calender with a male model wearing only a pair of briefs and holding a saxophone] | |||
<poem>'''[[Todd]]''': Thanks, babe. Also, today is Canadian Independence Day. '':[He plays a tune]''</poem> | |||
:''[Burping is heard. The phone displays an incoming call sign''] | :''[Burping is heard. The phone displays an incoming call sign''] | ||
<poem>'''Amy''': Oh, that's Bender's ringtone. I recognize the smell. Hello? '':[Bender's picture is displayed over the phone]'' | |||
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': ''Yo, Amy, I'm in the slammer.'' | |||
</poem><poem>'''Amy''': Oh, no! | |||
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': ''That's enough lip from you, moneybags. Just get 5 grand an bail me out.'' | |||
</poem><poem>'''Amy''': I don't have that kind of money laying around. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': ''Yeah, you do. You know that floor safe where you keep 10 grand? There's 5 grand in there. Don't make me wait!'' | |||
</poem>'':['''Scene''': [[Will Riker's Island]], prison interior. Bender, Roberto, [[Joey Mousepad]] and other criminals are in a cell.]'' | |||
<poem>'''[[Roberto]]''': '':[He walks up to Bender. He is holding a sock]'' Hey, Bender. Ever kill a man with a sock? It ain't so hard. Ha-HAA. '':[He stabs at Bender]'' | |||
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': I better carve a shiv for protection. '':[He pulls out a stick and a switchblade. He starts whittling down the stick into a crude knife]'' | |||
</poem><poem>'''URL''': '':[He opens the cell door. Kif and Amy are with him.]'' Rodríguez! These two brothers bailed your ass out. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': Oh! Thank God. '':[He hugs Kif, causing his head to inflate]'' Tell me, have things changed on the outside. Is food finally in pill form? What about pills? Are they in food form? | |||
</poem><poem>'''[[Larry the Murder Burglar]]''': '':[To Amy]'' Hey, hot stuff. I'm Larry the Murder Burglar. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Amy''': Hi, Larry. I like your tattoos. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Kif''': Amy, that man's a criminal! | |||
</poem><poem>'''Amy''': I was just checking out his tats. '':[She looks at a tattoo of Larry jumping out of a house window then lighting it with a {{w|molotov cocktail}}. The house explodes.]'' Sneato! I have one of my mom. Wanna see? | |||
</poem><poem>'''Larry the Murder Burglar''': Sure. | |||
</poem>'':[Amy shows him the tattoo on her butt. Kif stutters incoherently.]'' | |||
'':[A clerk is handing Bender back everything that was confiscated from him: a hat, a full roast chicken and an accordion]'' | |||
<poem>'''Kif''': '':[To Amy]'' I just don't understand why you have to flirt with every bad boy in sight. </poem> | |||
<poem>'''Amy''': Quit exaggerating.</poem> | |||
:''[A criminal that Smitty and URL are escorting gets loose. He steals a lightsaber and holds it to Amy's throat.]'' | :''[A criminal that Smitty and URL are escorting gets loose. He steals a lightsaber and holds it to Amy's throat.]'' | ||
<poem>'''Criminal''': Nobody move, or sweet cheeks here gets it! | |||
</poem><poem>'''Amy''': '':[Giggling]'' Oh! You're bad! | |||
</poem><poem>'''URL''': '':[He performs the Vulcan Neck Pinch on the criminal]'' Momma said, Spock you out! | |||
</poem><poem>'''Kif''': That's it, Amy. Pardon my language, but I have had it with you ruffling my petticoats. You and I are through. '':[He walks off. Amy looks heartbroken.]'' | |||
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': '':[He is holding the accordion.]'' Aw! Here's a little song I wrote to cheer you up. It's called, '':[singing]'' Let's go already! | |||
</poem>'':['''Scene''': [[Forbidden Planet Hollywood]]. Where tourists come to mingle with tourists]'' | |||
</poem>'':[Pan over the various exhibits, from {{sw|Chewbacca|Chewbacca's}} feet to {{w|Iron Man|Iron Man's}} underpants, {{w|Elvis|Elvis'}} pelvis and [[Calculon|Calculon's]] agent.]'' | |||
</poem>'':[Bender, [[Fry]], [[Leela]] and Amy are seated at a table]'' | |||
<poem>'''Leela''': Here's to Amy, single, lonely, and fabulous. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Amy''': Thanks everybody. Looks like I'm back in the game. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': Yeah, the game of {{w|Old Maid}}. '':[He laughs]'' | |||
</poem><poem>'''Security woman''': Excuse me, sir, are those yours? '':[Bender is wearing Chewbacca's feet]'' | |||
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': You're damn right. And, before you ask, this is mine too. '':[He opens his chest cabinet revealing {{w|Lassie}}. She barks]'' | |||
</poem><poem>'''Fry''': Tough break, Amy. Are you and Kif getting divorced? | |||
</poem><poem>'''Amy''': No. Technically we were [[Coinage#F|Fonfon rus]], so we weren't really married. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': Wow! The interesting thing about that is '':[He starts snoring]'' | |||
</poem><poem>'''Leela''': So, Amy, how can I phrase this delicately? Why did Kif dump you like a sack of yesterday's turds? | |||
</poem><poem>'''Amy''': He says I have a thing for bad boys. It's so stupid. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': The truth is often stupid. '':[He blows smoke in her face and sprinkles her with ash]'' | |||
</poem><poem>'''Amy''': Bender, why do you have to be so mean to me? | |||
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': Shut up, baby, you love it. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Amy''': Don't tell me to shut up! You know what happened to the last guy that told me to shut up? | |||
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': What? | |||
</poem>'':['''Scene''': Amy's apartment]'' | |||
<poem>'''Amy''': '':[In bed with Bender]'' That was great. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': Shut up. '':[Amy climbs on top of him and they start kissing]'' Come over here. | |||
</poem>'':['''Scene''': Tube Transport System. Bender and Amy are talking]'' | |||
<poem>'''Amy''' Remember, love between a [[human]] and a [[robot]] is taboo. '':[She takes a brush from Bender's cabinet and fixes her hair.]'' We can't tell anyone, not even our co-workers. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': Got it. I'll show the utmost discretion as we get nasty in this glass tube. '':[They begin kissing]'' | |||
</poem>'':['''Scene''': Planet Express Meeting room. The [[Planet Express Crew|crew]] is sitting around the table. Hermes looks sick]'' | |||
<poem>'''[[Hermes]]''': I think I'm coming down with [[circusitis]]. '':[He sneezes and his face gets traditional clown fare: make-up, rainbow wig, and rubber nose.]'' | |||
</poem><poem>'''Leela''': I thought circusitis only affected children. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Hermes''': Children of all ages. | |||
</poem><poem>'''[[Zoidberg]]''': Bender, old friend. What's on your face? | |||
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': '':[He has a lipstick mark on his face. He covers it up.]'' Uh. Blood. You know, from shaving of the face-beard. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Fry''': Amy, are those gear imprints on your sweatpants? | |||
</poem><poem>'''Amy''': Uh, maybe. So what? | |||
</poem><poem>'''Fry''': I only brought it up because Bender is wearing them. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': '':[He clears his throat]'' Uh, I stole them from her. Yeah, that's it, call the cops. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Hermes''': Oh, my swollen feet. ''He takes his feet out of the tub of water. They have turned into clown shoes]'' I better take my pills. '':[He opens the container and rubber springs fly out]'' | |||
</poem>'':['''Scene''': NNY street]'' | |||
<poem>'''Bender''': Amy, I reckon sweet talk don't come natural to me, but of everyone I've ever dated, you are probably in the top ten. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Amy''': Aw, you always say just the wrong thing in just the right way. '':[They kiss]'' | |||
</poem><poem>'''[[Preacherbot]]''': Sinners! [[Robosexuality]] is an abomination! | |||
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': Oy, this guy. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Preacherbot''': The good book sayeth a robot shall not lie down with a human, nor do it standing up, nor any angle in between. | |||
</poem>'':[A crowd has formed. They agree with the Preacherbot]'' | |||
<poem>'''Bender''': Look! A single mother! Let's get her! '':[The crowd runs off]'' | |||
</poem>'':[Bender and Amy walk off]'' | |||
'':['''Scene''': [[Planet Express ship]] basement.]'' | |||
<poem>'''[[Farnsworth]]''': Quickly, into the ship's basement! '':[Dr. Zoidberg scrambles into the basement and closes the door behind him. Everyone else is already there.]'' Now, then, as you all know, the county fair is approaching once again, so I'm preparing my entry of pickled winds and weathers. '':[Pan over the individual jars of weather]'' I've got sunny, snow flurry, hail with onions, even my grandmother's cranberry-raisin typhoon, but no tornado. I'll be damned if I let Mrs. Girdleson take the blue ribbon again. '':[He opens some blinds revealing a farmhouse being blown away in a typhoon, it has Bender's graffiti on it.]'' That's why I need you folks to get out there and harvest a nice ripe one. This cattle prod should help. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Leela''': How is that? '':[She gets zapped by the prod and screams.]'' | |||
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': Get out there! | |||
</poem>'':['''Scene''': [[Planet Tornadus]]. The crew are situated around a tornado. They are using jet packs and a device to extract the tornado.]'' | |||
<poem>'''Leela''': Is everybody in position? | |||
</poem><poem>'''Amy''': What? | |||
</poem><poem>'''Zoidberg''': Is someone talking? | |||
</poem><poem>'''Leela''': Okay, good. On three. One. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Hermes''': What did she say? | |||
</poem><poem>'''Leela''': Two. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': Wait, I'm not in position. '':[He is being blown around by the winds]'' | |||
</poem><poem>'''Leela''': Three. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Zoidberg''': I'm ready for the countdown. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Leela''': I'm not hearing anyone! Abort mission! | |||
</poem><poem>'''Fry''': She said, "Go!" | |||
</poem>'':[Everyone begins shooting wildly at the tornado.]'' | |||
'':['''Scene''': Planet Express Ship basement]'' | |||
<poem>'''Farnsworth''': Good work, everyone. '':[A tornado has someone been shoved into a large tube. It is attached to a pickle jar by a hose.]'' | |||
</poem><poem>'''Leela''': Honestly, that went better than I expected. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': I just need to reduce it down into this pickle jar, toss in a bay leaf to impress those stupid judges. '':[He puts the leaf into the pickle jar.]'' | |||
</poem><poem>'''Fry''': Hey, where's Amy and Bender. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Zoidberg''': They're missing out on some hot pickle action. '':[He licks his mouth flaps.]'' | |||
</poem>'':[The Professor presses a button and turns a switch on his machine. The tornado is being decanted into the pickle jar. Bender and Amy can be heard giggling.]'' | |||
<poem>'''Hermes''': Sounds like a muskrat's caught in there. | |||
</poem>'':[Amy's sweatshirt whips around in the tornado.]'' | |||
<poem>'''Leela''': That's Amy's sweatshirt! | |||
</poem>'':[Bender's hat appears]'' | |||
<poem>'''Fry''': And that's Bender's hat from the Player's ball! | |||
</poem><poem>'''Hermes''': Sweet tornadoes of Barbados! Bender and Amy have been torn to shreds! | |||
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': [He presses a few more buttons and more of Bender's and Amy's things appear in the whirlwind.]'' Oh, the humanity! Also Bender! | |||
</poem><poem>'''Amy''': '':[The whirlwind whips faster revealing Bender and Amy. The tornado stops and they fall to the floor, still kissing.]'' Uh-oh! | |||
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': What's going on here? | |||
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': Uh. '':[He antenna recedes.]'' Nothing. | |||
</poem>'':['''Scene''': Planet Express Meeting room. Everyone except the Professor is sitting. The Professor is pacing back and forth. | |||
<poem>'''Farnsworth''': A pair of deviant robosexuals. Not under my roof! | |||
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': What about ''on'' the roof? | |||
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth</poem><poem>''' Get your mind out of the gutter! | |||
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': What about in the gutter? | |||
</poem><poem>'''Leela''': Professor, there is nothing wrong with robosexuality. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Hermes''': Yeah, when the lights go out, it's nobody's business what happens between two consenting adults. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Zoidberg''': Or one! | |||
</poem><poem>'''Amy''': Thanks, guys. Everything will be okay just as long as [[Amy's parents|my parents]] don't find out. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': ''Zai jian.'' '':[He begins whistling innocently and walks to the door. A doorbell rings. He opens it. Leo and Inez are there.]'' | |||
</poem><poem>'''Amy''': Mom? Dad? | |||
</poem><poem>'''[[Leo Wong|Leo]]''': Come home, Amy. It your decision. We can't make you. '':[He pulls out a lasso and lassos Amy]'' Atta girl! | |||
</poem>'':[The Professor closes his cellphone again and begins whistling]'' | |||
<poem>'''Bender''': Uh-oh! not the innocent whistling! | |||
</poem><poem>'''Preacherbot''': '':[The doorbell rings and the Preacherbot is there]'' Repent! | |||
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': Oy, this guy. '':[A magnet attaches to his chest cabinet and he is dragged off.]'' | |||
</poem>'':['''Scene''': Wong Ranch. No {{w|Brokeback Mountain|Brokebacking}}]'' | |||
<poem>'''[[Inez Wong|Inez]]''': Look, we're your family. And if you can't talk about your problems with us, that would be great. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Amy''': I don't have a problem! I'm in a happy relationship that just happens to be robosex- | |||
</poem><poem>'''Leo''': '':[Cutting across her.]'' You finish that word, you kill your parents. | |||
</poem><poem>'''[[Wine Bucket]]''': Low wine level detected. '':[He fills Amy's glass]'' | |||
</poem><poem>'''Amy''': Thank you. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Leo''': Stop seducing him, you hussy! | |||
</poem><poem>'''Amy''': Dad, gleesh! I'm attracted to Bender, not his emotionless wine bucket! | |||
</poem><poem>'''Wine Bucket''': '':[A tear rolls down its face]'' Hopes deleted. | |||
</poem>'':['''Scene''': [[Camp Rectifier]]. Praying on the weak since [[2976]].]'' | |||
<poem>'''Preacherbot''': Robotic brothers, the path to [[Robot Hell] is paved with human flesh. | |||
</poem>'':[In addition to Bender, there is the Hermaphrobot, [[Fatbot]], and an unknown robot]'' | |||
<poem>'''Bender''': Neat! | |||
</poem><poem>'''Preacherbot''': Over the course of this escape-proof workshop, your software will be reprogrammed through prayer. And by some tech support guys in India. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Unknown Robot''': But I read in ''Esqwired'' that some robots are hardwired to be robosexual. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Preacherbot''': Don't believe those lies, son! The one ones worth believing are the ones in the Bible. Can I get an "Amen"? | |||
</poem><poem>'''[[Hermaphrobot]]''': I'll take a-three-men, holla! | |||
</poem>'':['''Scene''': Wong Ranch. Amy is rocking on a porch swing.]'' | |||
<poem>'''Inez''': Come on, Amy! Pick a male human already! '':[There is a line of men standing near the porch.]'' I want to be a grandmother nine months from five minutes from now. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Amy''': Cut it out, Mom! I'm not interesting in any of these gross, ugly losers. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Fry''': '':[Walking up]'' What about this gross, ugly, smelly loser? | |||
</poem><poem>'''Leo''': Fry! What you doing here? | |||
</poem><poem>'''Fry''': I'm here to rescue Amy, uh... from here robosexual desires. '':[He winks.]'' | |||
</poem><poem>'''Amy''': If I understand you correctly, I've seen the error of my ways? '':[She winks back.]'' | |||
</poem><poem>'''Leo''': Look at that awkward winking. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Inez''': It must be love. '':[Fry and Amy walk off]'' | |||
</poem>'':['''Scene''': Planet Express ship]'' | |||
<poem>'''Amy''': My parents may be evil, but at least their stupid. | |||
</poem>'':['''Scene''': Camp Rectifier]'' | |||
<poem>'''Preacherbot''': '':[The campers and the Preacherbot are standing near some dummies of humans.]'' In this phase, you will literally wrestle with your demons. Your shapely, buxom, human demons. | |||
</poem><poem>'''[[Fatbot]]''': Look at the rack on that one! I mean, that one on the rack! | |||
</poem><poem>'''Preacherbot''': '':[He blows a whistle and the campers each jump on a dummy and start fondling them.] Good! That's real good! '':[He wipes away some sweat.]'' Okay, everybody switch demons. No point sticking with just one demon. '':[The campers all switch dummies.]'' Now, work it hard! Harder! Till the sin explodes out of you! Mmmm. Mercy. Okay, Lord's work is done. Now, now, cuddle. Cuddle with your demons. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': Oh, Amy. I wonder where you are right now! | |||
</poem><poem>'''Amy''': I'm inside the dummy to rescue you. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': That answers that. Wait... Amy? '':[He begins kissing the demon]'' | |||
</poem><poem>'''Leela''': '':[Fry and Leela can be heard groaning]'' Bender, be careful! | |||
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': Fry? Leela? You're in there, too? Blech. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Zoidberg''': I guess we should have waited in the ship. | |||
</poem>'':['''Scene''': Planet Express meeting room. Bender and Amy are kissing.]'' | |||
<poem>'''Bender''': Listen up, everybody, I love Amy and I'm tired of pussyfootcupping around! I finally found someone I want to spend the rest of her life with. Amy, '':[He lowers his body and pulls a ring out of his chest cabinet. It has a tag that says exhibit A.]'' will you marry me? | |||
</poem><poem>'''Amy''': Yes! Yes! | |||
</poem>'':[Everyone else beside the Professor begins cheering]'' | |||
<poem>'''Farnsworth''': Oh, I'm just glad I didn't live to see this day! Wait a second, '':[He checks his pulse and hears only one beat]'' No! | |||
</poem><poem>'''Zoidberg''': '':[He is admiring Amy's ring]'' Such a stone. Is it real? '':[Amy pulls up Zoidberg's coat and uses the diamond to cut through Zoidberg's skin, revealing his internal organs.]'' Horray! | |||
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': Horray denied! Need I remind you that robosexual marriage is illegal! | |||
</poem><poem>'''Leela''': Not in [[Space Massachusetts]]. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': You mean Space-tax-achusetts. No chance, stretch pants! We're gonna fight to legalize it right here! | |||
</poem><poem>'''Hermes''': Yeah, man! You got to legalize it! | |||
</poem><poem>'''Amy''': We're talking about robosexual marriage. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Hermes''': We're talking about lots of stuff. | |||
</poem>'':['''Scene''': Gearwhich Village Pride Parade. Fry is eating a hot dog.]'' | |||
'':[The Hot Dog Stand grows limbs and a head.]'' | |||
<poem>'''Fry''': Cool! Can you turn into a race car? | |||
</poem><poem>'''Hot Dog Stand</poem><poem>''' Nah, I'm just a pre-op transformer. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Amy''' '':[on stage]'' Thank you for coming, everyone. We're all having some good, clean fun here. | |||
</poem><poem>'''[[Hedonism Bot]]''' '':[In a bondage outfit]'' Squeaky, squishy clean! '':[The Hot Dog Stand vomits hot dogs on Hedonism Bot.]'' | |||
</poem><poem>'''Amy''': But it's time to discuss a pressing issue, the right to marry who, or what, we want! '':[The crowd cheers]'' | |||
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': Every other couple has the right to marry, robot and fembot, '':[Cut to the [[Donbot]] and [[Fanny]],'' man and woman, '':[Pan to [[Pauly Shore]] and [[Michelle]],'' man and man '':[Pan to [[Randy Munchnik]], [[Soupy|his partner]], and their poodle.]'' | |||
</poem><poem>'''Randy''': Our poodle has ''two'' daddies. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': Interracial, '':[Pan to two aliens who are half-black and half-white]'', Interplanetary, '':[Pan to a blob and a woman]'', even ghost and horse, '':[a ghost is floating nearby with a horse inside its body]'' but not robot and human. | |||
</poem>'':[The crowd boos]'' | |||
<poem>'''Amy''': That's why we're introducing this ballot initiative to legalize robosexual marriage. | |||
</poem>'':[The crowd cheers]'' | |||
<poem>'''Bender''': If you hate intolerance and begin punched in the face by me, please support [[Proposition ∞|Proposition Infinity]]! | |||
</poem>'':[A montage of campaign efforts. Amy pins a button to an alien. He is popped by the button and floats away. Bender puts tile graffiti on URL's back and get hit. The crew holds a sign that reads "Stand up for equality" while nearby the Professor, [[Hattie]] and two others have a sign that reads, "Fall down and be unable to get up for traditional marriage".]'' | |||
'':['''Scene''': √2 News broadcast.]'' | |||
<poem>'''Linda''': '':[on TV]'' As election day nears, prop infinity seems doomed to certain defeat. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Morbo''': '':[on TV]'' Doomed! | |||
</poem><poem>'''Linda''': '':[on TV]'' More fair and balanced coverage after a word from our sponsor, No on Infinity. | |||
</poem>'':[A Parody of the National Organization for Marriage's ad begins. Storm clouds roll in.]'' | |||
<poem>'''Actor 1''': A storm is gathering. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Actor 2''': A storm of robosexual marriage that will rain down on us like fire. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Actor 1''': It's probably a firestorm. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Actress''': If robosexual marriage becomes legal, imagine the horrible things that will happen to our children, then imagine we said those things, since we couldn't think of any. As a mother, those things worry me. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Man''' '':[Voice over]'' Vote No on Infinity. Paid for by the [[Farnsworth Foundation]]. | |||
</poem>'':['''Scene''': Planet Express Lounge.]'' | |||
<poem>'''Amy''': We can't compete against that much stock footage of clouds! We're boned! | |||
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': But we still have one hope, my big televised debate! I'm our A in the hole! | |||
</poem><poem>'''Fry''': Professor, who's debating for your side? | |||
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': Oh, that guy, you know, I forget his name. | |||
</poem>'':['''Scene''': Debate Hall]'' | |||
<poem>'''Farnsworth''': '':[Pointing to a live image of himself on a television screen.]'' That's him! | |||
</poem><poem>'''[[George Takei's head]]''': Good evening, I'm George Takei's head and neck, your host for tonight's debate. You may applaud. '':[The crowd does.]'' We flipped a coin before the debate and Bender stole it, so we'll start with him. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I... Oops. Sorry, force of habit. I support this proposition because I love a goopy, flesh-and-blood woman, and not surprisingly, she loves me. This is a simple matter of justice, which I'm not normally for. So, please, vote yes. After all, our love isn't any different than yours, except it's hotter, 'cause I'm involved. | |||
'':[The crowd cheers and applauds'' | |||
<poem>'''Takei''': I haven't heard such an eloquent speech since [[William Shatner|Bill Shatner]] explained why he couldn't pay me back. Rebuttal, Professor? | |||
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': This $4 coffee pot talks about love, but what he describes is perversion. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': You wouldn't know perversion if it put clamps on your testicles! You're just jealous, 'cause you've never known true love. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': Oh, no? Back when I was full of piss and vinegar, and my bed wasn't, I fell in love with the sweetest girl to ever skip through a field of posies. '':[Flashback to a younger Professor and Eunice skipping through posies.]'' Her name was Eunice, and we spent our blissful days working in a lab, developing a poison to wipe out that dreadful posy infestation. '':[Farnsworth handes Eunice some posies and she drips poison on them. They wilt. The Professor and Eunice kiss.]'' I thought our love would last forever. But then, 43 years later, she left me '':[Eunice is in bed with a robot.]'' for a robot! '':[End flashback]'' How could she do that to me, her Farnypoo? | |||
</poem><poem>'''Amy''': That's it? You hate robosexual 'cause your girlfriend left you for a robot? | |||
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': She didn't just leave me for a robot. She ''was'' a robot! '':[The crowd gasps.]'' Oh, God! Her name wasn't Eunice, it was Unit! [[Unit 47]]. '':[The same flower scene plays but Eunice is replaced with Unit 47.]'' My heart was broken, and like a bitter, old picklepuss, I took my anger out on robosexuals everywhere. I'm so ashamed! At the risk of losing this debate, I beg you, support Proposition Infinity. '':[The crowd cheers]'' | |||
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': Give me a hug. '':[He jumps the Professor]'' | |||
</poem><poem>'''George Takei's head''': I, too, am hugging them in spirit. And now, they're hugging me back. ''Oh, my!'' | |||
</poem>'':['''Scene''': Planet Express Lounge. The crew is watching TV.] | |||
<poem>'''Linda''': '':[on TV]'' In a stunning turnout, voters have approved Proposition Infinity. Robosexual marriage is now legal. | |||
</poem><poem>'''Morbo''': '':[on TV]'' What's next, gay robosexual marriage? | |||
</poem>'':[The crew cheers]'' | |||
<poem>'''Amy''': We did it, honey! Finally, we can have a legal, monogamous marriage, like everyone else! | |||
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': Woo-hoo! Yeah! ... Monogamous? '':[Cut to Bender on a beach with two hookerbots]'' | |||
</poem>'':[Cut back to Planet Express]'' | |||
<poem>'''[[Radio Announcer]]''': And now, a long-distance dedication from a squishy, green bad boy to his pink pork dumpling. '':[A motercycle revs outside. Kif is driving and wearing a leather jacket, sunglasses and boots.]'' At number 12, it's [[Wailing Fungus]] with "Shut Up and Love Me" | |||
</poem>'':[As the song plays, Kif and Amy ride off into the sunset.]'' | |||
</poem>'':[Closing Credits.]'' | |||
{{navigation bottom/transcript | {{navigation bottom/transcript |
Revision as of 03:20, 20 March 2011
← Previous | Navigation in production order | Next → |
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Transcript for | |
Proposition Infinity | |
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Written by | Michael Rowe |
Transcribed by | Teyrn of Highever Kifcroaker |
[Opening Credits: Dictated But Not Read.]
[Scene: Amy's apartment. Kif and Amy are watching Channel √2 News.]
Linda: :[on TV] We now go live to our eye-in-the-sky hovercopter on the scene of that terrible hovercopter crash. Jim?
Jim :[on TV] :[Still in the burning hovercopter.] The scene is not good, Linda. I've just learned that my last words were: back to you, Linda.
Linda: :[on TV] :[She laughs] One for the blooper reel.
Kif: The news is so violent. Let's watch Rachael Ray instead. No, wait. There might be chopping.
Amy: God, what a wuss. Stop being such a spineless jellyfish.
Kif: You know full well that I am more closely related to the sea cucumber.
Amy: Not where it counts.
Morbo: :[on TV] I hated Jim! In other news, our city's urine-soaked walls have been desicrated by a mysterious tile-work graffiti artist.
Linda: :[on TV] Police have not idea who is behind this innovative scourge of public art.
:[On the TV, an example of the graffiti is shown. It looks like Bender]
- [Scene: New New York street. Bender is lowering himself using cables.
Bender :[He chuckles maliciously and spreads grout onto a wall. He then makes a tile version of his head] That is one sexy bridge abutment.
:[Time lapse. Bender is putting tile graffiti in various places. A hoverbus stop, a Richard Nixon "Despair" poster (parodying the Barack Obama "Hope" poster) and a tube transport station. At a freeway, Bender graffitis part of a sign so that it now reads "Free Corn" instead of "Freeway Ends At Corner"]
Hyper-Chicken: Free corn? That'll suit me just fine. :[He crashes his hovercar and crows loudly]
:[Bender is still putting graffiti on various buildings.]
Bender: The key is knowing precisely where to strike. :[The last building turns out to be URL's back] Oops!
URL: Well, well. Time to beat him his rights. :[He and Smitty take out their lightsabers and being hitting Bender.]
Smitty: You know, that don't look half bad on your buttocks.
URL: It does kinda class-up the place.
- [Pan over the streets of New New York. A clock nearby changes from 3:59 to 4:00]
Clock: The time is 4 am.
- [Scene: Amy's apartment]
Amy: We've been arguing all night, Kif. Can't we go to bed?
Kif: Is that all you ever think about? I'm not just some piece of tofu, Amy. I need to know where we stand in our relationship.
Amy: We're just going through a rough patch.
Kif: It is not a patch. It's been ages, according to your wildly inappropriate "Hunk of the Month" calender.
:[He points to a calender with a male model wearing only a pair of briefs and holding a saxophone]
Todd: Thanks, babe. Also, today is Canadian Independence Day. :[He plays a tune]
- [Burping is heard. The phone displays an incoming call sign]
Amy: Oh, that's Bender's ringtone. I recognize the smell. Hello? :[Bender's picture is displayed over the phone]
Bender: Yo, Amy, I'm in the slammer.
Amy: Oh, no!
Bender: That's enough lip from you, moneybags. Just get 5 grand an bail me out.
Amy: I don't have that kind of money laying around.
Bender: Yeah, you do. You know that floor safe where you keep 10 grand? There's 5 grand in there. Don't make me wait!
:[Scene: Will Riker's Island, prison interior. Bender, Roberto, Joey Mousepad and other criminals are in a cell.]
Roberto: :[He walks up to Bender. He is holding a sock] Hey, Bender. Ever kill a man with a sock? It ain't so hard. Ha-HAA. :[He stabs at Bender]
Bender: I better carve a shiv for protection. :[He pulls out a stick and a switchblade. He starts whittling down the stick into a crude knife]
URL: :[He opens the cell door. Kif and Amy are with him.] Rodríguez! These two brothers bailed your ass out.
Bender: Oh! Thank God. :[He hugs Kif, causing his head to inflate] Tell me, have things changed on the outside. Is food finally in pill form? What about pills? Are they in food form?
Larry the Murder Burglar: :[To Amy] Hey, hot stuff. I'm Larry the Murder Burglar.
Amy: Hi, Larry. I like your tattoos.
Kif: Amy, that man's a criminal!
Amy: I was just checking out his tats. :[She looks at a tattoo of Larry jumping out of a house window then lighting it with a molotov cocktail. The house explodes.] Sneato! I have one of my mom. Wanna see?
Larry the Murder Burglar: Sure.
:[Amy shows him the tattoo on her butt. Kif stutters incoherently.]
:[A clerk is handing Bender back everything that was confiscated from him: a hat, a full roast chicken and an accordion]
Kif: :[To Amy] I just don't understand why you have to flirt with every bad boy in sight.
Amy: Quit exaggerating.
- [A criminal that Smitty and URL are escorting gets loose. He steals a lightsaber and holds it to Amy's throat.]
Criminal: Nobody move, or sweet cheeks here gets it!
Amy: :[Giggling] Oh! You're bad!
URL: :[He performs the Vulcan Neck Pinch on the criminal] Momma said, Spock you out!
Kif: That's it, Amy. Pardon my language, but I have had it with you ruffling my petticoats. You and I are through. :[He walks off. Amy looks heartbroken.]
Bender: :[He is holding the accordion.] Aw! Here's a little song I wrote to cheer you up. It's called, :[singing] Let's go already!
:[Scene: Forbidden Planet Hollywood. Where tourists come to mingle with tourists]
</poem>:[Pan over the various exhibits, from Chewbacca's feet to Iron Man's underpants, Elvis' pelvis and Calculon's agent.]
</poem>:[Bender, Fry, Leela and Amy are seated at a table]
Leela: Here's to Amy, single, lonely, and fabulous.
Amy: Thanks everybody. Looks like I'm back in the game.
Bender: Yeah, the game of Old Maid. :[He laughs]
Security woman: Excuse me, sir, are those yours? :[Bender is wearing Chewbacca's feet]
Bender: You're damn right. And, before you ask, this is mine too. :[He opens his chest cabinet revealing Lassie. She barks]
Fry: Tough break, Amy. Are you and Kif getting divorced?
Amy: No. Technically we were Fonfon rus, so we weren't really married.
Bender: Wow! The interesting thing about that is :[He starts snoring]
Leela: So, Amy, how can I phrase this delicately? Why did Kif dump you like a sack of yesterday's turds?
Amy: He says I have a thing for bad boys. It's so stupid.
Bender: The truth is often stupid. :[He blows smoke in her face and sprinkles her with ash]
Amy: Bender, why do you have to be so mean to me?
Bender: Shut up, baby, you love it.
Amy: Don't tell me to shut up! You know what happened to the last guy that told me to shut up?
Bender: What?
:[Scene: Amy's apartment]
Amy: :[In bed with Bender] That was great.
Bender: Shut up. :[Amy climbs on top of him and they start kissing] Come over here.
:[Scene: Tube Transport System. Bender and Amy are talking]
Amy Remember, love between a human and a robot is taboo. :[She takes a brush from Bender's cabinet and fixes her hair.] We can't tell anyone, not even our co-workers.
Bender: Got it. I'll show the utmost discretion as we get nasty in this glass tube. :[They begin kissing]
:[Scene: Planet Express Meeting room. The crew is sitting around the table. Hermes looks sick]
Hermes: I think I'm coming down with circusitis. :[He sneezes and his face gets traditional clown fare: make-up, rainbow wig, and rubber nose.]
Leela: I thought circusitis only affected children.
Hermes: Children of all ages.
Zoidberg: Bender, old friend. What's on your face?
Bender: :[He has a lipstick mark on his face. He covers it up.] Uh. Blood. You know, from shaving of the face-beard.
Fry: Amy, are those gear imprints on your sweatpants?
Amy: Uh, maybe. So what?
Fry: I only brought it up because Bender is wearing them.
Bender: :[He clears his throat] Uh, I stole them from her. Yeah, that's it, call the cops.
Hermes: Oh, my swollen feet. He takes his feet out of the tub of water. They have turned into clown shoes] I better take my pills. :[He opens the container and rubber springs fly out]
:[Scene: NNY street]
Bender: Amy, I reckon sweet talk don't come natural to me, but of everyone I've ever dated, you are probably in the top ten.
Amy: Aw, you always say just the wrong thing in just the right way. :[They kiss]
Preacherbot: Sinners! Robosexuality is an abomination!
Bender: Oy, this guy.
Preacherbot: The good book sayeth a robot shall not lie down with a human, nor do it standing up, nor any angle in between.
:[A crowd has formed. They agree with the Preacherbot]
Bender: Look! A single mother! Let's get her! :[The crowd runs off]
:[Bender and Amy walk off]
:[Scene: Planet Express ship basement.]
Farnsworth: Quickly, into the ship's basement! :[Dr. Zoidberg scrambles into the basement and closes the door behind him. Everyone else is already there.] Now, then, as you all know, the county fair is approaching once again, so I'm preparing my entry of pickled winds and weathers. :[Pan over the individual jars of weather] I've got sunny, snow flurry, hail with onions, even my grandmother's cranberry-raisin typhoon, but no tornado. I'll be damned if I let Mrs. Girdleson take the blue ribbon again. :[He opens some blinds revealing a farmhouse being blown away in a typhoon, it has Bender's graffiti on it.] That's why I need you folks to get out there and harvest a nice ripe one. This cattle prod should help.
Leela: How is that? :[She gets zapped by the prod and screams.]
Farnsworth: Get out there!
:[Scene: Planet Tornadus. The crew are situated around a tornado. They are using jet packs and a device to extract the tornado.]
Leela: Is everybody in position?
Amy: What?
Zoidberg: Is someone talking?
Leela: Okay, good. On three. One.
Hermes: What did she say?
Leela: Two.
Bender: Wait, I'm not in position. :[He is being blown around by the winds]
Leela: Three.
Zoidberg: I'm ready for the countdown.
Leela: I'm not hearing anyone! Abort mission!
Fry: She said, "Go!"
:[Everyone begins shooting wildly at the tornado.]
:[Scene: Planet Express Ship basement]
Farnsworth: Good work, everyone. :[A tornado has someone been shoved into a large tube. It is attached to a pickle jar by a hose.]
Leela: Honestly, that went better than I expected.
Farnsworth: I just need to reduce it down into this pickle jar, toss in a bay leaf to impress those stupid judges. :[He puts the leaf into the pickle jar.]
Fry: Hey, where's Amy and Bender.
Zoidberg: They're missing out on some hot pickle action. :[He licks his mouth flaps.]
:[The Professor presses a button and turns a switch on his machine. The tornado is being decanted into the pickle jar. Bender and Amy can be heard giggling.]
Hermes: Sounds like a muskrat's caught in there.
:[Amy's sweatshirt whips around in the tornado.]
Leela: That's Amy's sweatshirt!
:[Bender's hat appears]
Fry: And that's Bender's hat from the Player's ball!
Hermes: Sweet tornadoes of Barbados! Bender and Amy have been torn to shreds!
Farnsworth: [He presses a few more buttons and more of Bender's and Amy's things appear in the whirlwind.] Oh, the humanity! Also Bender!
Amy: :[The whirlwind whips faster revealing Bender and Amy. The tornado stops and they fall to the floor, still kissing.] Uh-oh!
Farnsworth: What's going on here?
Bender: Uh. :[He antenna recedes.] Nothing.
:[Scene: Planet Express Meeting room. Everyone except the Professor is sitting. The Professor is pacing back and forth.
Farnsworth: A pair of deviant robosexuals. Not under my roof!
Bender: What about on the roof?
Farnsworth
Get your mind out of the gutter!
Bender: What about in the gutter?
Leela: Professor, there is nothing wrong with robosexuality.
Hermes: Yeah, when the lights go out, it's nobody's business what happens between two consenting adults.
Zoidberg: Or one!
Amy: Thanks, guys. Everything will be okay just as long as my parents don't find out.
Farnsworth: Zai jian. :[He begins whistling innocently and walks to the door. A doorbell rings. He opens it. Leo and Inez are there.]
Amy: Mom? Dad?
Leo: Come home, Amy. It your decision. We can't make you. :[He pulls out a lasso and lassos Amy] Atta girl!
:[The Professor closes his cellphone again and begins whistling]
Bender: Uh-oh! not the innocent whistling!
Preacherbot: :[The doorbell rings and the Preacherbot is there] Repent!
Bender: Oy, this guy. :[A magnet attaches to his chest cabinet and he is dragged off.]
:[Scene: Wong Ranch. No Brokebacking]
Inez: Look, we're your family. And if you can't talk about your problems with us, that would be great.
Amy: I don't have a problem! I'm in a happy relationship that just happens to be robosex-
Leo: :[Cutting across her.] You finish that word, you kill your parents.
Wine Bucket: Low wine level detected. :[He fills Amy's glass]
Amy: Thank you.
Leo: Stop seducing him, you hussy!
Amy: Dad, gleesh! I'm attracted to Bender, not his emotionless wine bucket!
Wine Bucket: :[A tear rolls down its face] Hopes deleted.
:[Scene: Camp Rectifier. Praying on the weak since 2976.]
Preacherbot: Robotic brothers, the path to [[Robot Hell] is paved with human flesh.
:[In addition to Bender, there is the Hermaphrobot, Fatbot, and an unknown robot]
Bender: Neat!
Preacherbot: Over the course of this escape-proof workshop, your software will be reprogrammed through prayer. And by some tech support guys in India.
Unknown Robot: But I read in Esqwired that some robots are hardwired to be robosexual.
Preacherbot: Don't believe those lies, son! The one ones worth believing are the ones in the Bible. Can I get an "Amen"?
Hermaphrobot: I'll take a-three-men, holla!
:[Scene: Wong Ranch. Amy is rocking on a porch swing.]
Inez: Come on, Amy! Pick a male human already! :[There is a line of men standing near the porch.] I want to be a grandmother nine months from five minutes from now.
Amy: Cut it out, Mom! I'm not interesting in any of these gross, ugly losers.
Fry: :[Walking up] What about this gross, ugly, smelly loser?
Leo: Fry! What you doing here?
Fry: I'm here to rescue Amy, uh... from here robosexual desires. :[He winks.]
Amy: If I understand you correctly, I've seen the error of my ways? :[She winks back.]
Leo: Look at that awkward winking.
Inez: It must be love. :[Fry and Amy walk off]
:[Scene: Planet Express ship]
Amy: My parents may be evil, but at least their stupid.
:[Scene: Camp Rectifier]
Preacherbot: :[The campers and the Preacherbot are standing near some dummies of humans.] In this phase, you will literally wrestle with your demons. Your shapely, buxom, human demons.
Fatbot: Look at the rack on that one! I mean, that one on the rack!
Preacherbot: :[He blows a whistle and the campers each jump on a dummy and start fondling them.] Good! That's real good! :[He wipes away some sweat.] Okay, everybody switch demons. No point sticking with just one demon. :[The campers all switch dummies.] Now, work it hard! Harder! Till the sin explodes out of you! Mmmm. Mercy. Okay, Lord's work is done. Now, now, cuddle. Cuddle with your demons.
Bender: Oh, Amy. I wonder where you are right now!
Amy: I'm inside the dummy to rescue you.
Bender: That answers that. Wait... Amy? :[He begins kissing the demon]
Leela: :[Fry and Leela can be heard groaning] Bender, be careful!
Bender: Fry? Leela? You're in there, too? Blech.
Zoidberg: I guess we should have waited in the ship.
:[Scene: Planet Express meeting room. Bender and Amy are kissing.]
Bender: Listen up, everybody, I love Amy and I'm tired of pussyfootcupping around! I finally found someone I want to spend the rest of her life with. Amy, :[He lowers his body and pulls a ring out of his chest cabinet. It has a tag that says exhibit A.] will you marry me?
Amy: Yes! Yes!
:[Everyone else beside the Professor begins cheering]
Farnsworth: Oh, I'm just glad I didn't live to see this day! Wait a second, :[He checks his pulse and hears only one beat] No!
Zoidberg: :[He is admiring Amy's ring] Such a stone. Is it real? :[Amy pulls up Zoidberg's coat and uses the diamond to cut through Zoidberg's skin, revealing his internal organs.] Horray!
Farnsworth: Horray denied! Need I remind you that robosexual marriage is illegal!
Leela: Not in Space Massachusetts.
Bender: You mean Space-tax-achusetts. No chance, stretch pants! We're gonna fight to legalize it right here!
Hermes: Yeah, man! You got to legalize it!
Amy: We're talking about robosexual marriage.
Hermes: We're talking about lots of stuff.
:[Scene: Gearwhich Village Pride Parade. Fry is eating a hot dog.]
:[The Hot Dog Stand grows limbs and a head.]
Fry: Cool! Can you turn into a race car?
Hot Dog Stand
Nah, I'm just a pre-op transformer.
Amy :[on stage] Thank you for coming, everyone. We're all having some good, clean fun here.
Hedonism Bot :[In a bondage outfit] Squeaky, squishy clean! :[The Hot Dog Stand vomits hot dogs on Hedonism Bot.]
Amy: But it's time to discuss a pressing issue, the right to marry who, or what, we want! :[The crowd cheers]
Bender: Every other couple has the right to marry, robot and fembot, :[Cut to the Donbot and Fanny, man and woman, :[Pan to Pauly Shore and Michelle, man and man :[Pan to Randy Munchnik, his partner, and their poodle.]
Randy: Our poodle has two daddies.
Bender: Interracial, :[Pan to two aliens who are half-black and half-white], Interplanetary, :[Pan to a blob and a woman], even ghost and horse, :[a ghost is floating nearby with a horse inside its body] but not robot and human.
:[The crowd boos]
Amy: That's why we're introducing this ballot initiative to legalize robosexual marriage.
:[The crowd cheers]
Bender: If you hate intolerance and begin punched in the face by me, please support Proposition Infinity!
:[A montage of campaign efforts. Amy pins a button to an alien. He is popped by the button and floats away. Bender puts tile graffiti on URL's back and get hit. The crew holds a sign that reads "Stand up for equality" while nearby the Professor, Hattie and two others have a sign that reads, "Fall down and be unable to get up for traditional marriage".]
:[Scene: √2 News broadcast.]
Linda: :[on TV] As election day nears, prop infinity seems doomed to certain defeat.
Morbo: :[on TV] Doomed!
Linda: :[on TV] More fair and balanced coverage after a word from our sponsor, No on Infinity.
:[A Parody of the National Organization for Marriage's ad begins. Storm clouds roll in.]
Actor 1: A storm is gathering.
Actor 2: A storm of robosexual marriage that will rain down on us like fire.
Actor 1: It's probably a firestorm.
Actress: If robosexual marriage becomes legal, imagine the horrible things that will happen to our children, then imagine we said those things, since we couldn't think of any. As a mother, those things worry me.
Man :[Voice over] Vote No on Infinity. Paid for by the Farnsworth Foundation.
:[Scene: Planet Express Lounge.]
Amy: We can't compete against that much stock footage of clouds! We're boned!
Bender: But we still have one hope, my big televised debate! I'm our A in the hole!
Fry: Professor, who's debating for your side?
Farnsworth: Oh, that guy, you know, I forget his name.
:[Scene: Debate Hall]
Farnsworth: :[Pointing to a live image of himself on a television screen.] That's him!
George Takei's head: Good evening, I'm George Takei's head and neck, your host for tonight's debate. You may applaud. :[The crowd does.] We flipped a coin before the debate and Bender stole it, so we'll start with him.
Bender: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I... Oops. Sorry, force of habit. I support this proposition because I love a goopy, flesh-and-blood woman, and not surprisingly, she loves me. This is a simple matter of justice, which I'm not normally for. So, please, vote yes. After all, our love isn't any different than yours, except it's hotter, 'cause I'm involved.
:[The crowd cheers and applauds
<poem>Takei: I haven't heard such an eloquent speech since Bill Shatner explained why he couldn't pay me back. Rebuttal, Professor?
Farnsworth: This $4 coffee pot talks about love, but what he describes is perversion.
Bender: You wouldn't know perversion if it put clamps on your testicles! You're just jealous, 'cause you've never known true love.
Farnsworth: Oh, no? Back when I was full of piss and vinegar, and my bed wasn't, I fell in love with the sweetest girl to ever skip through a field of posies. :[Flashback to a younger Professor and Eunice skipping through posies.] Her name was Eunice, and we spent our blissful days working in a lab, developing a poison to wipe out that dreadful posy infestation. :[Farnsworth handes Eunice some posies and she drips poison on them. They wilt. The Professor and Eunice kiss.] I thought our love would last forever. But then, 43 years later, she left me :[Eunice is in bed with a robot.] for a robot! :[End flashback] How could she do that to me, her Farnypoo?
Amy: That's it? You hate robosexual 'cause your girlfriend left you for a robot?
Farnsworth: She didn't just leave me for a robot. She was a robot! :[The crowd gasps.] Oh, God! Her name wasn't Eunice, it was Unit! Unit 47. :[The same flower scene plays but Eunice is replaced with Unit 47.] My heart was broken, and like a bitter, old picklepuss, I took my anger out on robosexuals everywhere. I'm so ashamed! At the risk of losing this debate, I beg you, support Proposition Infinity. :[The crowd cheers]
Bender: Give me a hug. :[He jumps the Professor]
George Takei's head: I, too, am hugging them in spirit. And now, they're hugging me back. Oh, my!
:[Scene: Planet Express Lounge. The crew is watching TV.]
Linda: :[on TV] In a stunning turnout, voters have approved Proposition Infinity. Robosexual marriage is now legal.
Morbo: :[on TV] What's next, gay robosexual marriage?
:[The crew cheers]
Amy: We did it, honey! Finally, we can have a legal, monogamous marriage, like everyone else!
Bender: Woo-hoo! Yeah! ... Monogamous? :[Cut to Bender on a beach with two hookerbots]
:[Cut back to Planet Express]
Radio Announcer: And now, a long-distance dedication from a squishy, green bad boy to his pink pork dumpling. :[A motercycle revs outside. Kif is driving and wearing a leather jacket, sunglasses and boots.] At number 12, it's Wailing Fungus with "Shut Up and Love Me"
:[As the song plays, Kif and Amy ride off into the sunset.]
</poem>:[Closing Credits.]
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